i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
