its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
