Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
