I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
