I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
