:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He felt like a one man threesome
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
