is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
