i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
