bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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