just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just found a bag of teeth...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
