I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
