Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
