Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
