So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
