i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
