Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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