haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
