Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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