So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
