smell my finger.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
