He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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