Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
