Whod you bang
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
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