Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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