He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
