this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
