I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
