Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
