If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
