I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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