dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You pole danced in your parka.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
