it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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