Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
