Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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