im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
