Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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