I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
