No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As shirtless as possible
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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