11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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