"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
