Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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