Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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