Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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