why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
