Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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