did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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