what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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