I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
