2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
