Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
